Prayer works

To some extent, my response to the title of this post is, “Duh!” and to some extent it’s a skeptical, “Uh-huh, right.”  Nod and smile at the crazy woman.

But I’ve had so many times over the last couple of years where God has specifically answered prayers in my life (my own prayers and those of others).  There have been a couple times where an ongoing problem or concern that I haven’t shared with people because I’m a fairly private person or because I’m not sure it’s appropriate has improved within a day or so of sharing and asking people to pray.  None of these things are the type where I can say, absolutely, that nothing would have happened without the prayer, but the lot of them together suggests that God really listens for us, and then listens to us.

It’s hard for me to believe that our actions influence Him.  In fact, it’s hard for me to see him feeling about us much at all.  Interacting with these incidences in prayer has shown me that I see God the Father as a grandfatherly figure who truly cares for his people, but prefers patting them on the head from his easy chair (or lecturing them from the same place) and then sending them on their way to do their thing to getting out of his chair, walking over to them, and helping them do their thing, either at their request or because it’s just so clear that they need it.  The God I’ve always known is truly loving, but distant.  He’s involved, but only when he wants to be, and then it’s usually about him and not about us.

Gaak!  What a wretched God-image!  And what an odd thing to come upon like this.

I’m afraid that’s as far as I’ve come processing it at this point.

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Perspective

Dave and I found out today that the seemingly pesky, annoying problem with our car will cost us the rest of our combined tax return to fix.  We spent the first half on the car last week, so that isn’t exactly exciting news.  At least, I suppose, we have the tax return.

And we still have each other.  I happened on this in my internet-ing today as I was on the phone with Dave about the car, and it made me cry (you know, in case the car problems weren’t…two reasons to weep on sale today, come on down!).   This story stays on my heart; pray for this woman and her family, even though I don’t know them and I’m not sure they would want to be prayed for.

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Tears

“Whenever you find tears in your eyes, especially unexpected tears, it is well to pay the closest attention. They are not only telling you something about the secret of who you are, but more often than not God is speaking to you through them of the mystery of where you have come from and is summoning you to where, if your soul is to be saved, you should go to next.”

Frederick Buechner Beyond Words, Harper SanFrancisco, 2004, p. 383. October 19th, 2006

There have only been a few times in my life when crying my tears has been worse than not crying them. Actually, I write that more because I think it’s true than because I can think of any concrete cases. I’m sure there have been times when I cried to manipulate or get what I wanted instead of legitimately being sad or hurt, but those aren’t the tears that stand out.

Buechner is so right–tears help us move on.  They help us let go.  They help us find our way through the impenetrable darknesses of life.  More than anything, I’ve found that they help me to get past the noise to the place where God’s voice is clear.

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Love is of God

Today, I can’t help but think about love.

Ok, that’s a little cheesy, but come on, I am newly married.

Dave is truly a gift to me. He just is. Even when things are hard and we’re discouraged and it’s hard to see how we’ll ever get somewhere other than where we are now, he’s a gift.

Honestly, I’ve grown a lot since I’ve known Dave. I had to grow a lot to be able to know him like I do, but he’s also been key to more growth in me.

I love it when God gives us people like that, people who help us become more than we are without them. It’s easy to say that God allows us to see him through other people, but the experience of that is so much more than the words convey.

I think the most surprising thing is that it’s only very rarely that I think, “Wow, right now, Dave is loving me like God does.” Instead, Dave loves me and I grow and change and interact with God and others differently. It’s a different sort of growth, a growth that seems more holistic, more internal. More organic.

God loves us through others. Sometimes, that’s really obvious. Other times, it’s quiet and natural and we don’t really realize it until later.

Thank you, Dave. I love you.

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